By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Gary_Wonning]Gary Wonning
Several years ago, I would have the opportunity to occasionally have lunch with an entertaining old gentleman who always had a good story. He was one of those gentlemen that every small town seems to have, a nice old guy who was always willing to talk and entertain whoever may be present.
Even though he was approaching 80 years of age, he continued to work every day, being the manager of the local city sewage treatment plant, he always claimed to know everything about everybody's business. One particular lunch time, with several patrons present, the subject some how turned to chickens. He went on to relate how there were more chickens raised in the state of Georgia than any where else in the United States.
As the conversation continued, Art when on to proclaim that the state which produced the most eggs was Arkansas. After several minutes of listening to this conversation, I began to wonder, how could all the chickens be in Georgia and all the eggs in Arkansas?
As soon as there was a lull in the conversation, I posed this question. Everyone was startled, no one had thought of this angle. Of course then the topic of the day turned as to how this could be possible.
It was reasoned that since Arkansas and Georgia were relatively close in proximity, it might help to explain this peculiar circumstance. Then the subject turned to which came first, the chicken or the egg. It was reasoned the chicken had to come first, since Georgia had become a state before Arkansas.
Then someone else chimed in that since Georgia was further east, the sun would come up there before rising in Arkansas, and it only made sense the chicken had to be up before she could lay an egg. Hence the chicken had to come first.
Someone else then stated that since the sun went down later in Arkansas, there would be more sunlight available to create a warmer environment for an egg to hatch, and since chickens came from eggs, it only made sense the egg had to come first.
They even offered up the theory that daylight savings time had been created by Ben Franklin in order to provide a better and warmer environment for the eggs. The extra hour of daylight would provide a shorter night so the eggs wouldn't cool off too much during the starlite evenings of Arkansas.
The conversation continued long after I had to leave, for once it was a pleasure to go back to work.
Gary has been a photographer for over 20 years, specializing in nature, landscapes and event photography. Besides visiting most of the United States, he has traveled to such places as Egypt, the Canary Islands,much of the Caribbean, and having studied Mayan Cultures in Central America, and the Australian Aboriginal way of life, photography has given him the opportunity to observe life in many different cultures!
To view more of his articles visit [http://www.travelnsnap.com]http://www.travelnsnap.com.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?The-Chicken-and-The-Egg&id=6495404] The Chicken and The Egg
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Saturday, December 31, 2011
If I Had A Second Chance At Life
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Deepa_Sundara_Rajan]Deepa Sundara Rajan
Being a Hindu, I'm programmed to believe in the concept of rebirth. Apart from that, it gives me solace to think that if things did not work out for me in this life, they will in another. I'm a staunch believer in second chances - even (or is it especially) when they transcend lives.
So if I was to be reborn, what would I want to be born as? Not that these choices are in our hands really. But I like to think about it - especially when I'm dead beat or flying around getting work done and trying to race against time.
If I had a chance at rebirth, I think I'd like to be born as a water buffalo. You think that's funny? The two others that I mentioned it to this last week also thought it was hilarious.
But if you think about it carefully, its really a very good choice for a harried, always-on-my-feet, woman-of-the-21st-century, slave to time like me.
The Bubalus bubalis is a noble creature. In my opinion, it is the epitome of relaxation and thoughtfulness, bordering Nirvana. Just picture it, sitting in muddy water, black hide glistening in the sun, swishing flies with its tail, chewing the cud and contemplating, with half open eyes, the world as it whizzes past. Now contrast this picture with the daily routine of any working woman. Wake up to the sound of an alarm, rush about preparing breakfast, lunch, braving traffic and getting to work on time in a photo finish. Then there is the roller coaster ride of dealing with work issues for at least 8 hours. And if you're a mom, then you can multiply this entire effort by two.
Don't you feel jealous? Wouldn't you want to be this animal? What does the world expect from a buffalo really? Practically nothing. Ok, maybe a couple of litres of rich milk a day. Permit a human to tug at your privates a couple of times a day. Ok, maybe that's a tad undignified. Let the passing bird sit on your broad back and pick worms off your skin. That's as symbiotic a relationship as any! Oh and ignore the many insults and curses that use you as a reference point - In Hindi: Kala akshar bhains barabar (to indicate ignorance) or bhains ke aagey been bajana (to indicate that you have no appreciation of finer things). In Tamil: 'Yerumamaadu!' - a curse to indicate girth and immovability, usually uttered in jam packed buses and trains.
That apart, there's really nothing to complain about now is there? Its a life of self actualisation.
Yes, I'd like to be reborn as a water buffalo. With curly horns - as opposed to the long straight ones. A bit of vanity maybe, but I think the curly ones look cuter!
So tell me, if you had the chance to be reborn, what would you want to be born as? Leave your thoughts in the comment box. And feel free to tag others on this topic if you like. Do let me know if you do, so I could also read it.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?If-I-Had-A-Second-Chance-At-Life&id=6505009] If I Had A Second Chance At Life
Being a Hindu, I'm programmed to believe in the concept of rebirth. Apart from that, it gives me solace to think that if things did not work out for me in this life, they will in another. I'm a staunch believer in second chances - even (or is it especially) when they transcend lives.
So if I was to be reborn, what would I want to be born as? Not that these choices are in our hands really. But I like to think about it - especially when I'm dead beat or flying around getting work done and trying to race against time.
If I had a chance at rebirth, I think I'd like to be born as a water buffalo. You think that's funny? The two others that I mentioned it to this last week also thought it was hilarious.
But if you think about it carefully, its really a very good choice for a harried, always-on-my-feet, woman-of-the-21st-century, slave to time like me.
The Bubalus bubalis is a noble creature. In my opinion, it is the epitome of relaxation and thoughtfulness, bordering Nirvana. Just picture it, sitting in muddy water, black hide glistening in the sun, swishing flies with its tail, chewing the cud and contemplating, with half open eyes, the world as it whizzes past. Now contrast this picture with the daily routine of any working woman. Wake up to the sound of an alarm, rush about preparing breakfast, lunch, braving traffic and getting to work on time in a photo finish. Then there is the roller coaster ride of dealing with work issues for at least 8 hours. And if you're a mom, then you can multiply this entire effort by two.
Don't you feel jealous? Wouldn't you want to be this animal? What does the world expect from a buffalo really? Practically nothing. Ok, maybe a couple of litres of rich milk a day. Permit a human to tug at your privates a couple of times a day. Ok, maybe that's a tad undignified. Let the passing bird sit on your broad back and pick worms off your skin. That's as symbiotic a relationship as any! Oh and ignore the many insults and curses that use you as a reference point - In Hindi: Kala akshar bhains barabar (to indicate ignorance) or bhains ke aagey been bajana (to indicate that you have no appreciation of finer things). In Tamil: 'Yerumamaadu!' - a curse to indicate girth and immovability, usually uttered in jam packed buses and trains.
That apart, there's really nothing to complain about now is there? Its a life of self actualisation.
Yes, I'd like to be reborn as a water buffalo. With curly horns - as opposed to the long straight ones. A bit of vanity maybe, but I think the curly ones look cuter!
So tell me, if you had the chance to be reborn, what would you want to be born as? Leave your thoughts in the comment box. And feel free to tag others on this topic if you like. Do let me know if you do, so I could also read it.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?If-I-Had-A-Second-Chance-At-Life&id=6505009] If I Had A Second Chance At Life
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Groucho's "You Bet Your Life!" Quiz Show Is Now "You Bet Your Life You Need a Sense of Humor!"
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=B._Todish]B. Todish
Here he is (again), the one, the only, Groucho!
After being bored with the "afterlife', Groucho asked for and gets a "special dispensation" to return to earth "life". We become reaquainted with Groucho when he is being interviewed, by Baba Wawa (Gilda Radner's personification of Barbara Walters) about what "cloud life" was like. To the interviewers first question "How are you", Groucho responds: "I hate questions". Cloud "life", he tells Baba Wawa, is very practical. Instead of questions, everyone just speaks with emotional statements about how they feel about things. They only tell their emotions, instead of making judgments and bullying others, or themselves. This is, he tells Baba Wawa, paradise, with zero provocations! It is beyond utopia, or would be, if only there were others in cloud "life" that had a sense a humor, like Groucho. If anyone dares to bully someone else, or themself, in cloud "life", they bully right back by turning around any accusations about doing or saying anything wrong or incorrectly. "Instead of doing "that", "that" did me!" is often heard in cloud "life".
Cloud "life", for Groucho, was very similar to what Groucho required on his 1960's TV show "You Bet Your LIfe". On that show, if any contestant complained about anything, Groucho would ritualistically hold his cigar in his unique way, and say how grateful he was that he could still hear, even if it is just to hear a complaint. Groucho kept thin in the clouds, and still is connected to his cigar. The cigar now functions to keep the clouds puffy. Groucho avoided dieting because he was, and still remains motivated by laughing, instead of eating. When Groucho gained his wings, he lost all of his ego. He had little ego left to begin with in the first place, when he was in earth "life", because Groucho always was interested in making lots of room for his comedy to spread out across his personality, and Groucho wanted all the space that his ego took up in his personality to be filled in with his sense of humor.
Deceased since the 1970's, Groucho tells Baba Wawa that he spends his cloud "life" traipsing around the clouds, always looking to find others in cloud "life" who have a sense of humor. Other cloud "lifers" spend their cloud "life" looking for their sense of humor, and finding it hard to find it in any of the cloud "life" religions, etc., so Groucho is pleased to return among the earth "lifers" to seek out earth "lifers" that still have their sense of humor intact. So far the only earth "lifers" he has found that he can relate to are Bill Maher and Ellen Degeneres. They both, like Groucho, have the courage to face their fears, their emotional vulnerabilities. These two either do all their own comedy writing, and/or risk ad libbing everything. Ellen even dances unscripted and unpracticed, spontaneously!
Joining Groucho and Baba Wawa were Bill and Ellen. They all enjoyed an Italian welcome back dinner and Groucho paid attention to the smallest minutiae. For instance, Groucho was grateful that the grater was full of plentiful parmesan and romano cheese! George Fennemann, who also accompanied Groucho, looked eternally youthful, (also anorexic), and George picked at a few spaghetti strands, and a few grains of cheese and a drop of tomato sauce. George Fennemann let it be known that he wished Groucho would stop smoking and eating simultaneously. Groucho was adamant though, because Groucho felt an ethical responsibility to keep the clouds looking their best.
Groucho also informed the interviewer, that he, Groucho, was the very first to start the trend of doing things simultaneously. Groucho was the founder of the original subliminal comedy movement that involved the complex elements of multitasking. Groucho even asked BabaWawa if she knew that Groucho was the very first comedian to even attempt to get his audiences to laugh so hard that they also cried. Groucho did his "trademark" move with his cigar and said: "Laughing and crying simultaneuosly, now that's real multi-tasking!" He winked at Baba Wawa. All of a sudden a trumpet played and the Angel Gabriel appeared. The "Secret Word" card just floated in air while The Angel Gabriel played his trumpet, while also eating a piece of pizza.. The gold and platinum and titanium embossed card had the secret words "multi-tasking" on it. The print on the card weighed the card down, but the titanium made the card "lighter" than air, so the card with the words "multi-tasking" actually was floating.
The Angel Gabriel "paid" Groucho. Groucho had secretly always wanted to win that secret word himself, and he finally got his eternal, cloud monopoly "money". This prize "money" was limitless comedy "currency". Groucho knew that with this prize "money", he could start the Groucho Marx Flying in Place Comedy University. He could begin to teach others how to find their own lost sense of humor. Then Groucho could begin the process that he had been putting off for so long. Groucho could have some humorous company when he returned to cloud "life", because with the prize cloud "life" currency, Groucho would also provide cloud "life" scholarships, so those who were willing to spend their cloud "life" looking for their lost sense of humor, would now be provided with the newest cloud "life" tech tools. These tech tools would make it easier and quicker for the cloud "life" students to find their lost sense of humor. Thus, Groucho reasoned, he would be able to remain in cloud "life" instead of requesting more visits back to pre-post life.
There were so few humorous people TO visit back on earth anyway, and Bill Maher and Ellen Degeneres were swamped with requests, and they could only spend a small amount of time with Groucho! After eating and smoking, and flying, of course, at the same time, Groucho commented that he could see that Jay Leno had the right idea, especially about eating while standing up, because Jay was kind of multi-tasking, because by standing while eating, Jay Leno was assisting in his own digestion of his food. Groucho remarked to Baba Wawa that, pretty soon, Jay Leno would be doing more things simultaneously, too. Groucho took the credIt and said that he, Groucho, had planted subliminal seeds for the few authentic multi-taskers, like Bill Maher and Ellen Degeneris. Jay Leno was almost there, as was Ralph Nader and even Jessie Ventura!
Groucho felt he had to mention to Baba Wawa that handsome George Fennemann was as anorexic as ever, and Groucho wanted George to try, for once, to just enjoy his food instead of just enjoying his looks. Groucho was almost ready now to return to clould "life", because Groucho has been looking forward to his newest cloud "life"mission: Groucho explained to Baba Wawa, that he wanted to get started with his Groucho Marx Flying in Place Comedy University. The Comedy University students would learn to find their sense of humor, and, when they "graduated", namely when they found their sense of humor, they could play eternally! Groucho made a note to himself to recruit Dudley Moore for his first class of GM Flying In Place Comedy University's cloud "life" students, because Dudley Moore had a head start in finding his sense of humor when he acted, and did such a good job, in the original "Arthur-The Movie" with Liza Minnelli, when he was in earth "life". Groucho just felt, intuitively and instinctively, that Dudley Moore would make a great mentor for other GM Flying In Place Comedy University students.
Handsome George Fennemann was, of course, Groucho's "wing man" when both were on Earth "life". George's handsome features would have an appearance overflow effect, and he made Groucho look better than Groucho actually was. In addition to chiding Groucho about Groucho's incessant cigar smoking, George reminded Groucho about Groucho having to pay extra insurance on the set of "You Bet Your Life" because of those big cigars Groucho smoked. (I secretly hoped Baba Wawa would become a real investigative reporter for a change and dig into the possibility that there might have been corruption on "You Bet Your Life: namely that she might be curious to know whether Groucho ever gave undetectable hints to the contestats about the secret word.)
On his show, Groucho listened intensely to his contestant-guests for the slightest defensiveness in his guest's tone of voice. Groucho, finding even a fraction of an iota of defensiveness, would "be off to the races" with his ad libbing! All people, but especially "You Bet Your Life" contestants, had to be "on their toes", and everyone back then knew to avoid complaining and being ungrateful around Groucho. Instead of bullying his guests, though, for "ratings", Groucho always got great Nielsen ratings because he cared about pleasing his number one fan! His most important "audience" was himself! Laugh for yourself he would imply: "You are your most important audience"!
"Today...", Groucho said to Baba Wawa, "I take the expansion of the pool of possibilities for marriage candidates as a plus, because even though I am a celebrity, when it comes right down to it, I need as many marriage possibilities as I can get, what with my limitations, (not withstanding the song I recorded: "You Can Learn a Lot from Lydia") With my smoking, and being in cloud "life", it's hard to satisfy anyone with just my long distance subliminal comedy! I'd be willing to try all marriage variations. If I were to come back to earth "life" re-vivified, reincarnated, I would marry a guy, then divorce him, and marry a woman, then, divorce her, then I could get sex change surgery and start all over again as Gracie Marx! I might even want to marry myself, because after a sex change who knows what might happen, I might have all the equipment I need"! With that Baba Wawa had her "scoop". Visions of the headlines were running through her head: "Groucho, Still Funny After All These Years, But Selfish, Too!"
Before Groucho returned to cloud "life", he mentioned that, if he were to make a comeback, he would publicize the fact that "You Bet Your Life" was THE original Reality TV show. Groucho noted that PETA probably would find fault with his use of the bird delivering the secret word, even though it was a mechanical prop instead of a live bird., and/or the bird union would start a class action suit or something, unless Groucho joined 'The Birders". He thought he might replace the bird with the Angel Gabriel but that might upset some of the religious unions in cloud "life", and it might also upset some agnostics and atheists that were earth "lifers". Groucho thought about extending his visit "visa" on earth "life", to make a run at becoming President of the United States, and he even visualized himself reforming politics through humor. Groucho thought he even might stand a chance, (due to the good will still existing for him), if he ran a write-in campaign, but he decided to return to his GM Flying In Place Comedy University goal.
As he was leaving to return back to cloud "life", Groucho said he would plant a final subliminal seed in the mind of Baba Wawa. He wanted to influence her to write about his idea for a write in US Presential campaign for 2012. He hoped that voters would all, through Neural Linguistic Programming, or NLP, get a spontaneous idea to write themselves in for President of the US for 2012. Groucho surmised that write-in votes for Mickey Mouse as a candidate for President of the US resulted in other successful write-in campaigns. There was even a hopeful sign of a trend, when Bill Maher, without any announced, organized, write-in campaign, was "recruited", because he got many write in votes to be governor of NJ in 2008!
Perhaps there is still a possibility that these earth "lifers", Groucho mused, might wind up governing themselves! Stranger things have happened, like when Jessie Ventura shocked the country and the world, by showing that an Independent Party candidate, with only a relatively small amount of money, COULD become a Governor! "Maybe", Groucho continued thinking to himself, "I really did subliminally plant the seeds for others to want to tell the truth by using humor, when I was alive! I really hope that there are more than just the few comedians like Bill Maher and Ellen Degeneris who can find their absolute sense of humor by losing their ego! These two and maybe even more can be able to forget who they are, long enough to remember what a real sense of humor is! Bill and Ellen also know that a real sense of humor is worth more than all that PC nonsense of "belonging" and/or "connecting", "uniting" together as a typical nuclear family, or country, or any group, for that matter". Groucho and Bill Maher and Ellen Degeneres and a few other comics and or writers that write on the internet knew that you need to value your unique sense of humor absolutely, more than you value money, fame and/or power.
Maybe Groucho would agree that things are becoming too absurd today, when even corporations are legally considered persons! Now perhaps even corporations can get "married" and save on legal fees for M & A (mergers and aquisitions)! Groucho might say that are too few people, whether human beings or corporations that "know" anything much today, what with all the disinformation. Groucho always showed us how to avoid taking ourselves and our personalities too seriously. He taught us with his subtle humor to rely on our intuitions and instincts to laugh and his humor poked fun at family, country, gender, or any goup identity. Groucho was an equal opportunity insulter, he insulted everryone and anyone who took themselves of their group identity, their group stereotype, etc., too seriously. Groucho made us aware, or tried to, and was somewhat successful at making us aware that there are too few people that know and treasure their VALIDITY of knowing that when we settle for the status quo of conventional tradition, we wind up being in a puzzle that is always missing at least one important piece. That one piece is our own unique, essence, our absolutely funny sense of humor. Our comical part of our personalities too often gets bullied out of us when we unite together too seriously as a family, country, ethnicity, religion, gender race or any identity, or group. Groucho taught us through his mostly improvisational, spontaneous, ad libbing comedy that all social and cultural constructs need to be viewed through 3D type "glasses" of HUMOR! Otherwise we are all missing out on laughing about how seriously we take ourslves!
Groucho made his "last" stop (he flew direct instead of non stop) before returning to his cloud "life" by fluttering in a blimp-like hovering manuever over where he was buried. He detected his unobtrusively marked grave. Few, if any knew where Groucho was really buried! (Due to a very trustworthy publicist, that rarest of all rarities, almost everyone believed Groucho was buried in Hollywood.) His grave is under Alabama elephant tusks because in Alabama, the Tuscaloosa.
B. Todish can be reached at [mailto:btodish@verizon.net]btodish@verizon.net and/or see http://www.flyinginplace.com/
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Grouchos-You-Bet-Your-Life!-Quiz-Show-Is-Now-You-Bet-Your-Life-You-Need-a-Sense-of-Humor!&id=6449562] Groucho's "You Bet Your Life!" Quiz Show Is Now "You Bet Your Life You Need a Sense of Humor!"
Here he is (again), the one, the only, Groucho!
After being bored with the "afterlife', Groucho asked for and gets a "special dispensation" to return to earth "life". We become reaquainted with Groucho when he is being interviewed, by Baba Wawa (Gilda Radner's personification of Barbara Walters) about what "cloud life" was like. To the interviewers first question "How are you", Groucho responds: "I hate questions". Cloud "life", he tells Baba Wawa, is very practical. Instead of questions, everyone just speaks with emotional statements about how they feel about things. They only tell their emotions, instead of making judgments and bullying others, or themselves. This is, he tells Baba Wawa, paradise, with zero provocations! It is beyond utopia, or would be, if only there were others in cloud "life" that had a sense a humor, like Groucho. If anyone dares to bully someone else, or themself, in cloud "life", they bully right back by turning around any accusations about doing or saying anything wrong or incorrectly. "Instead of doing "that", "that" did me!" is often heard in cloud "life".
Cloud "life", for Groucho, was very similar to what Groucho required on his 1960's TV show "You Bet Your LIfe". On that show, if any contestant complained about anything, Groucho would ritualistically hold his cigar in his unique way, and say how grateful he was that he could still hear, even if it is just to hear a complaint. Groucho kept thin in the clouds, and still is connected to his cigar. The cigar now functions to keep the clouds puffy. Groucho avoided dieting because he was, and still remains motivated by laughing, instead of eating. When Groucho gained his wings, he lost all of his ego. He had little ego left to begin with in the first place, when he was in earth "life", because Groucho always was interested in making lots of room for his comedy to spread out across his personality, and Groucho wanted all the space that his ego took up in his personality to be filled in with his sense of humor.
Deceased since the 1970's, Groucho tells Baba Wawa that he spends his cloud "life" traipsing around the clouds, always looking to find others in cloud "life" who have a sense of humor. Other cloud "lifers" spend their cloud "life" looking for their sense of humor, and finding it hard to find it in any of the cloud "life" religions, etc., so Groucho is pleased to return among the earth "lifers" to seek out earth "lifers" that still have their sense of humor intact. So far the only earth "lifers" he has found that he can relate to are Bill Maher and Ellen Degeneres. They both, like Groucho, have the courage to face their fears, their emotional vulnerabilities. These two either do all their own comedy writing, and/or risk ad libbing everything. Ellen even dances unscripted and unpracticed, spontaneously!
Joining Groucho and Baba Wawa were Bill and Ellen. They all enjoyed an Italian welcome back dinner and Groucho paid attention to the smallest minutiae. For instance, Groucho was grateful that the grater was full of plentiful parmesan and romano cheese! George Fennemann, who also accompanied Groucho, looked eternally youthful, (also anorexic), and George picked at a few spaghetti strands, and a few grains of cheese and a drop of tomato sauce. George Fennemann let it be known that he wished Groucho would stop smoking and eating simultaneously. Groucho was adamant though, because Groucho felt an ethical responsibility to keep the clouds looking their best.
Groucho also informed the interviewer, that he, Groucho, was the very first to start the trend of doing things simultaneously. Groucho was the founder of the original subliminal comedy movement that involved the complex elements of multitasking. Groucho even asked BabaWawa if she knew that Groucho was the very first comedian to even attempt to get his audiences to laugh so hard that they also cried. Groucho did his "trademark" move with his cigar and said: "Laughing and crying simultaneuosly, now that's real multi-tasking!" He winked at Baba Wawa. All of a sudden a trumpet played and the Angel Gabriel appeared. The "Secret Word" card just floated in air while The Angel Gabriel played his trumpet, while also eating a piece of pizza.. The gold and platinum and titanium embossed card had the secret words "multi-tasking" on it. The print on the card weighed the card down, but the titanium made the card "lighter" than air, so the card with the words "multi-tasking" actually was floating.
The Angel Gabriel "paid" Groucho. Groucho had secretly always wanted to win that secret word himself, and he finally got his eternal, cloud monopoly "money". This prize "money" was limitless comedy "currency". Groucho knew that with this prize "money", he could start the Groucho Marx Flying in Place Comedy University. He could begin to teach others how to find their own lost sense of humor. Then Groucho could begin the process that he had been putting off for so long. Groucho could have some humorous company when he returned to cloud "life", because with the prize cloud "life" currency, Groucho would also provide cloud "life" scholarships, so those who were willing to spend their cloud "life" looking for their lost sense of humor, would now be provided with the newest cloud "life" tech tools. These tech tools would make it easier and quicker for the cloud "life" students to find their lost sense of humor. Thus, Groucho reasoned, he would be able to remain in cloud "life" instead of requesting more visits back to pre-post life.
There were so few humorous people TO visit back on earth anyway, and Bill Maher and Ellen Degeneres were swamped with requests, and they could only spend a small amount of time with Groucho! After eating and smoking, and flying, of course, at the same time, Groucho commented that he could see that Jay Leno had the right idea, especially about eating while standing up, because Jay was kind of multi-tasking, because by standing while eating, Jay Leno was assisting in his own digestion of his food. Groucho remarked to Baba Wawa that, pretty soon, Jay Leno would be doing more things simultaneously, too. Groucho took the credIt and said that he, Groucho, had planted subliminal seeds for the few authentic multi-taskers, like Bill Maher and Ellen Degeneris. Jay Leno was almost there, as was Ralph Nader and even Jessie Ventura!
Groucho felt he had to mention to Baba Wawa that handsome George Fennemann was as anorexic as ever, and Groucho wanted George to try, for once, to just enjoy his food instead of just enjoying his looks. Groucho was almost ready now to return to clould "life", because Groucho has been looking forward to his newest cloud "life"mission: Groucho explained to Baba Wawa, that he wanted to get started with his Groucho Marx Flying in Place Comedy University. The Comedy University students would learn to find their sense of humor, and, when they "graduated", namely when they found their sense of humor, they could play eternally! Groucho made a note to himself to recruit Dudley Moore for his first class of GM Flying In Place Comedy University's cloud "life" students, because Dudley Moore had a head start in finding his sense of humor when he acted, and did such a good job, in the original "Arthur-The Movie" with Liza Minnelli, when he was in earth "life". Groucho just felt, intuitively and instinctively, that Dudley Moore would make a great mentor for other GM Flying In Place Comedy University students.
Handsome George Fennemann was, of course, Groucho's "wing man" when both were on Earth "life". George's handsome features would have an appearance overflow effect, and he made Groucho look better than Groucho actually was. In addition to chiding Groucho about Groucho's incessant cigar smoking, George reminded Groucho about Groucho having to pay extra insurance on the set of "You Bet Your Life" because of those big cigars Groucho smoked. (I secretly hoped Baba Wawa would become a real investigative reporter for a change and dig into the possibility that there might have been corruption on "You Bet Your Life: namely that she might be curious to know whether Groucho ever gave undetectable hints to the contestats about the secret word.)
On his show, Groucho listened intensely to his contestant-guests for the slightest defensiveness in his guest's tone of voice. Groucho, finding even a fraction of an iota of defensiveness, would "be off to the races" with his ad libbing! All people, but especially "You Bet Your Life" contestants, had to be "on their toes", and everyone back then knew to avoid complaining and being ungrateful around Groucho. Instead of bullying his guests, though, for "ratings", Groucho always got great Nielsen ratings because he cared about pleasing his number one fan! His most important "audience" was himself! Laugh for yourself he would imply: "You are your most important audience"!
"Today...", Groucho said to Baba Wawa, "I take the expansion of the pool of possibilities for marriage candidates as a plus, because even though I am a celebrity, when it comes right down to it, I need as many marriage possibilities as I can get, what with my limitations, (not withstanding the song I recorded: "You Can Learn a Lot from Lydia") With my smoking, and being in cloud "life", it's hard to satisfy anyone with just my long distance subliminal comedy! I'd be willing to try all marriage variations. If I were to come back to earth "life" re-vivified, reincarnated, I would marry a guy, then divorce him, and marry a woman, then, divorce her, then I could get sex change surgery and start all over again as Gracie Marx! I might even want to marry myself, because after a sex change who knows what might happen, I might have all the equipment I need"! With that Baba Wawa had her "scoop". Visions of the headlines were running through her head: "Groucho, Still Funny After All These Years, But Selfish, Too!"
Before Groucho returned to cloud "life", he mentioned that, if he were to make a comeback, he would publicize the fact that "You Bet Your Life" was THE original Reality TV show. Groucho noted that PETA probably would find fault with his use of the bird delivering the secret word, even though it was a mechanical prop instead of a live bird., and/or the bird union would start a class action suit or something, unless Groucho joined 'The Birders". He thought he might replace the bird with the Angel Gabriel but that might upset some of the religious unions in cloud "life", and it might also upset some agnostics and atheists that were earth "lifers". Groucho thought about extending his visit "visa" on earth "life", to make a run at becoming President of the United States, and he even visualized himself reforming politics through humor. Groucho thought he even might stand a chance, (due to the good will still existing for him), if he ran a write-in campaign, but he decided to return to his GM Flying In Place Comedy University goal.
As he was leaving to return back to cloud "life", Groucho said he would plant a final subliminal seed in the mind of Baba Wawa. He wanted to influence her to write about his idea for a write in US Presential campaign for 2012. He hoped that voters would all, through Neural Linguistic Programming, or NLP, get a spontaneous idea to write themselves in for President of the US for 2012. Groucho surmised that write-in votes for Mickey Mouse as a candidate for President of the US resulted in other successful write-in campaigns. There was even a hopeful sign of a trend, when Bill Maher, without any announced, organized, write-in campaign, was "recruited", because he got many write in votes to be governor of NJ in 2008!
Perhaps there is still a possibility that these earth "lifers", Groucho mused, might wind up governing themselves! Stranger things have happened, like when Jessie Ventura shocked the country and the world, by showing that an Independent Party candidate, with only a relatively small amount of money, COULD become a Governor! "Maybe", Groucho continued thinking to himself, "I really did subliminally plant the seeds for others to want to tell the truth by using humor, when I was alive! I really hope that there are more than just the few comedians like Bill Maher and Ellen Degeneris who can find their absolute sense of humor by losing their ego! These two and maybe even more can be able to forget who they are, long enough to remember what a real sense of humor is! Bill and Ellen also know that a real sense of humor is worth more than all that PC nonsense of "belonging" and/or "connecting", "uniting" together as a typical nuclear family, or country, or any group, for that matter". Groucho and Bill Maher and Ellen Degeneres and a few other comics and or writers that write on the internet knew that you need to value your unique sense of humor absolutely, more than you value money, fame and/or power.
Maybe Groucho would agree that things are becoming too absurd today, when even corporations are legally considered persons! Now perhaps even corporations can get "married" and save on legal fees for M & A (mergers and aquisitions)! Groucho might say that are too few people, whether human beings or corporations that "know" anything much today, what with all the disinformation. Groucho always showed us how to avoid taking ourselves and our personalities too seriously. He taught us with his subtle humor to rely on our intuitions and instincts to laugh and his humor poked fun at family, country, gender, or any goup identity. Groucho was an equal opportunity insulter, he insulted everryone and anyone who took themselves of their group identity, their group stereotype, etc., too seriously. Groucho made us aware, or tried to, and was somewhat successful at making us aware that there are too few people that know and treasure their VALIDITY of knowing that when we settle for the status quo of conventional tradition, we wind up being in a puzzle that is always missing at least one important piece. That one piece is our own unique, essence, our absolutely funny sense of humor. Our comical part of our personalities too often gets bullied out of us when we unite together too seriously as a family, country, ethnicity, religion, gender race or any identity, or group. Groucho taught us through his mostly improvisational, spontaneous, ad libbing comedy that all social and cultural constructs need to be viewed through 3D type "glasses" of HUMOR! Otherwise we are all missing out on laughing about how seriously we take ourslves!
Groucho made his "last" stop (he flew direct instead of non stop) before returning to his cloud "life" by fluttering in a blimp-like hovering manuever over where he was buried. He detected his unobtrusively marked grave. Few, if any knew where Groucho was really buried! (Due to a very trustworthy publicist, that rarest of all rarities, almost everyone believed Groucho was buried in Hollywood.) His grave is under Alabama elephant tusks because in Alabama, the Tuscaloosa.
B. Todish can be reached at [mailto:btodish@verizon.net]btodish@verizon.net and/or see http://www.flyinginplace.com/
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Grouchos-You-Bet-Your-Life!-Quiz-Show-Is-Now-You-Bet-Your-Life-You-Need-a-Sense-of-Humor!&id=6449562] Groucho's "You Bet Your Life!" Quiz Show Is Now "You Bet Your Life You Need a Sense of Humor!"
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Facebook Users We Like To Avoid
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Scott_S_Fleming]Scott S Fleming
The "Update Bore-aholic"
"I'm waking up." "I had tofu pancakes for breakfast." "I'm so bored at work." "I'm stuck in traffic, and need a drink."
Holy crap, how fascinating your posts and updates are (not). Nothing is too mundane for this type of user to broadcast every single action that happens on a whim. People, just because you have nothing better to do with your time than to broadcast your every single move with the thought that it was the next terrific thing to happen to you - try reading a book, or better yet, get a hobby that doesn't include using anything electronic.
The "Self-Promoter"
OK, so we've probably all posted at least once about some achievement in our lives. Sure, maybe your friends really do want to read the fascinating article you wrote about Argentinian ant farming. But when almost every update is a link to your blog, your lyrics listings, or your drab art show, you sound like a bragger or a self-centered careerist, which is a real turn-off.
The "Friend" horde
The average Facebook / Twitter user has about 120 friends on the site. The social butterflies -- you know, the ones who make life-long pals on the downtown bus -- might reasonably have 300 or 400. But to have over 1,000 "friends?" Unless you're The Pope or just won the lottery, no one has that many friends. That's just showing off, and it shows how shallow you are to the world that you would accept anyone that requests a friend or Follower.
The Town Crier
"Michael Jackson is dead!!!" You heard it from me first!
Me, and the 213,000 gazillion other people who all saw it on CNN. These users are the reason many of us learn of breaking news not from TV or news sites but from online social networks. In their rush to trumpet the news, these people also spread rumors, half-truths and innuendo. Users such as this are why Snopes.com is doing so well.
The TMIer
"Chad is heading to Walgreens to buy something for my pesky hemorrhoids."
The boundaries of privacy and decorum don't seem to exist for these too-much-information up daters, who offer up every personal detail about their sex lives, marital troubles and bodily functions. Thanks for sharing, time to drop you now, perhaps block you too.
The Really Bad Grammarian
"So sad about Fara Fauset but Im so gladd its friday yippeeee".
Yes, I realize that the punctuation rules are different in the digital world. That doesn't make it correct. No one likes a spelling-Nazi schoolmarm, but you sound like a friggin' moron and you don't care one tinker's cuss what you say even if we can't understand what you posted because you probably don't either. Your family always "likes" your broadcast, so you don't get upset.
The Sympathy-Baiter
"Barbara is feeling sad today." "Man, am I glad that's over." "Jim could really use some good news about now."
Like anglers hunting for fish, these sad sacks cast out their hooks -- baited with vague tales of woe -- in the hopes of landing concerned responses. Genuine bad news is one thing, but these manipulative posts are just pleas for attention. You keep a box of kleenex next to your laptop, don't you.
The Stalk-Lurker
The true "Peeping Toms of Facebook", these users are too cautious, or maybe too lazy (most likely too drunk), to update their status or write on your wall. But once in a while, you'll be talking to them and they'll mention something you posted, so you know they're on your page, hiding in the shadows. It's really a little creepy, actually, very creepy.
The "Face-Cranks"
"Jose isn't really that impressed with those idiots who don't realize how idiotic they are."
These curmudgeons, like the trolls who spew hate in several blog comments, never seem to run out of things they couldn't complain about. Just keep spreading the love...
The Paparazzo
Have you ever visited your Facebook page to find that someone's posted a photo of you from last weekend's party -- a photo you haven't even seen? You'd really rather not have to explain to your wife why you were leering like a drunken hyena and French-kissing a bottle of Jagermeister at an office party. Avoid these users like the PLAGUE.
The Obscurist
"If not now then when?" "You'll see..." "Peter is, small world." "Dave thought he was immune, but no. No, he is not. And I don't wish this for the world."
I'm sorry, you're not being mysterious -- just nonsensical - now shut the hell up! Oh, wait here's a button for that...
The Chronic Inviter
"Support my cause. Sign my petition. Play Mafia Wars with me. Which 'Star Trek' character are you? I sent you a heart! Here are the 'Top 5 cars I have personally owned.' Here are '25 Things About Me.' Here's a drink. What drink are you? We're related! I took the 'What President Are You?' quiz and found out I'm Millard Fillmore! What president are you? Which Smurf are you?"
You probably mean well, but stop. Just stop! I don't care what president I am -- can't we simply be friends?
Now excuse me while I go post the link to this story on my Facebook page.
Scott Fleming is CEO of Music City Guru, based in Nashville, TN. An affordable Website Development company and Hosting Services provider.
Additional informational articles can be found at http://www.musiccityguru.com/
Please call us at 615-541-9327
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Facebook-Users-We-Like-To-Avoid&id=6514679] Facebook Users We Like To Avoid
The "Update Bore-aholic"
"I'm waking up." "I had tofu pancakes for breakfast." "I'm so bored at work." "I'm stuck in traffic, and need a drink."
Holy crap, how fascinating your posts and updates are (not). Nothing is too mundane for this type of user to broadcast every single action that happens on a whim. People, just because you have nothing better to do with your time than to broadcast your every single move with the thought that it was the next terrific thing to happen to you - try reading a book, or better yet, get a hobby that doesn't include using anything electronic.
The "Self-Promoter"
OK, so we've probably all posted at least once about some achievement in our lives. Sure, maybe your friends really do want to read the fascinating article you wrote about Argentinian ant farming. But when almost every update is a link to your blog, your lyrics listings, or your drab art show, you sound like a bragger or a self-centered careerist, which is a real turn-off.
The "Friend" horde
The average Facebook / Twitter user has about 120 friends on the site. The social butterflies -- you know, the ones who make life-long pals on the downtown bus -- might reasonably have 300 or 400. But to have over 1,000 "friends?" Unless you're The Pope or just won the lottery, no one has that many friends. That's just showing off, and it shows how shallow you are to the world that you would accept anyone that requests a friend or Follower.
The Town Crier
"Michael Jackson is dead!!!" You heard it from me first!
Me, and the 213,000 gazillion other people who all saw it on CNN. These users are the reason many of us learn of breaking news not from TV or news sites but from online social networks. In their rush to trumpet the news, these people also spread rumors, half-truths and innuendo. Users such as this are why Snopes.com is doing so well.
The TMIer
"Chad is heading to Walgreens to buy something for my pesky hemorrhoids."
The boundaries of privacy and decorum don't seem to exist for these too-much-information up daters, who offer up every personal detail about their sex lives, marital troubles and bodily functions. Thanks for sharing, time to drop you now, perhaps block you too.
The Really Bad Grammarian
"So sad about Fara Fauset but Im so gladd its friday yippeeee".
Yes, I realize that the punctuation rules are different in the digital world. That doesn't make it correct. No one likes a spelling-Nazi schoolmarm, but you sound like a friggin' moron and you don't care one tinker's cuss what you say even if we can't understand what you posted because you probably don't either. Your family always "likes" your broadcast, so you don't get upset.
The Sympathy-Baiter
"Barbara is feeling sad today." "Man, am I glad that's over." "Jim could really use some good news about now."
Like anglers hunting for fish, these sad sacks cast out their hooks -- baited with vague tales of woe -- in the hopes of landing concerned responses. Genuine bad news is one thing, but these manipulative posts are just pleas for attention. You keep a box of kleenex next to your laptop, don't you.
The Stalk-Lurker
The true "Peeping Toms of Facebook", these users are too cautious, or maybe too lazy (most likely too drunk), to update their status or write on your wall. But once in a while, you'll be talking to them and they'll mention something you posted, so you know they're on your page, hiding in the shadows. It's really a little creepy, actually, very creepy.
The "Face-Cranks"
"Jose isn't really that impressed with those idiots who don't realize how idiotic they are."
These curmudgeons, like the trolls who spew hate in several blog comments, never seem to run out of things they couldn't complain about. Just keep spreading the love...
The Paparazzo
Have you ever visited your Facebook page to find that someone's posted a photo of you from last weekend's party -- a photo you haven't even seen? You'd really rather not have to explain to your wife why you were leering like a drunken hyena and French-kissing a bottle of Jagermeister at an office party. Avoid these users like the PLAGUE.
The Obscurist
"If not now then when?" "You'll see..." "Peter is, small world." "Dave thought he was immune, but no. No, he is not. And I don't wish this for the world."
I'm sorry, you're not being mysterious -- just nonsensical - now shut the hell up! Oh, wait here's a button for that...
The Chronic Inviter
"Support my cause. Sign my petition. Play Mafia Wars with me. Which 'Star Trek' character are you? I sent you a heart! Here are the 'Top 5 cars I have personally owned.' Here are '25 Things About Me.' Here's a drink. What drink are you? We're related! I took the 'What President Are You?' quiz and found out I'm Millard Fillmore! What president are you? Which Smurf are you?"
You probably mean well, but stop. Just stop! I don't care what president I am -- can't we simply be friends?
Now excuse me while I go post the link to this story on my Facebook page.
Scott Fleming is CEO of Music City Guru, based in Nashville, TN. An affordable Website Development company and Hosting Services provider.
Additional informational articles can be found at http://www.musiccityguru.com/
Please call us at 615-541-9327
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Facebook-Users-We-Like-To-Avoid&id=6514679] Facebook Users We Like To Avoid
Sunday, December 25, 2011
Classic Old Time Radio Comedy: Fibber McGee And Molly
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Elisa_Sunflower]Elisa Sunflower
Listening to radio programs from the yesteryear has become a surprisingly popular form of entertainment. Many of the old radio shows from the 1920s to the 1950s have even been adapted to play on the modern gadgets and gizmos we use today. In fact, like most other media formats, old time radio offers a wide selection for public consumption. Crowd favorites are the usual mystery, horror and suspense, thriller, drama and adventure genre. Of course, comedy was especially favored by the listeners of what has now become known as the golden age of radio.
The 1930's spawned many note-worthy programs that are still talked about to this day. However, one of the most famous sitcoms to grace the airwaves was none other than "Fibber McGee and Molly," which began airing on NBC Network April 16, 1935. When situational comedy is talked about, this infamous series immediately comes to mind and is said to be the spark that launched James "Jim" Jordan and Marian Driscoll to stardom.
The success of this syndicated serial was something like a slow burn. Unlike other hit old radio shows, the audience of Fibber McGee grew over the years. Perhaps what set the series apart from contemporaries of its time was the fact that it was a bright ray of sunlight in what was otherwise a bleak and dark moment in American history. The Depression blanketed the country with the after-effects of World War I and the lighthearted cheer that the McGee's of Wistful Vista exhibited as they went about their daily lives was a soothing balm to homes and households across America.
Jim and Marian relied heavily on their witty repartee to entertain their audience. It was not unusual that their listeners would end up doubled-over in laughter at the rib-tickling and guffaw-inducing antics delivered by the spunky cast. In the comedy genre, it's quite easy to fall into cliches and a repetitive routine. However, Fibber McGee successfully got away with such over-used plot devices through sheer bravado. In fact, one of the most notorious running gags they used was the "Hall Closet." Many an unsuspecting soul fell victim to the closet and was promptly buried under an avalanche of Fibber's things and no one was safe from the junk-filled monster. It became a standing joke in the McGee home and Fibber popularized the catch-phrase "I have to get that closet cleaned out one of these days." That ironic and self-derogatory remark delivered in an almost bored voice would leave the listeners in stitches.
Undoubtedly, the colorful characters living in Wistful Vista also helped drive the show's popularity. One of the most eccentric persons living in the village was a senior resident called "Old Timer." The gruff and cranky old man was portrayed by Bill Thompson. The comical situations he and Fibber would get into were made more absurd as he appeared to be arguing with someone who was deaf as a doorknob. Another character that he often interacted with was the haughty and self-styled aristocrat, Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve. He had a love-hate relationship with Fibber and their wordplay was akin to a verbal battle at times. Harold Peary portrayed the arrogant next-door neighbor so well that a spin-off program was created for the character. "The Great Gildersleeve" was another old time radio show that became popular during its time. Last but not least was the lovable and precocious little girl who followed Fibber around all the time. "Teeny" was also played by the charming Marian Driscoll. The former Vaudevillian actress had an amazing voice talent which was shown by the wide array of characters she played throughout the span of her career.
I'm a big fan of <a target="_new" href="http://www.otrcat.com/%22%3EOld Time Radio</A>.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Classic-Old-Time-Radio-Comedy:-Fibber-McGee-And-Molly&id=6516928] Classic Old Time Radio Comedy: Fibber McGee And Molly
Listening to radio programs from the yesteryear has become a surprisingly popular form of entertainment. Many of the old radio shows from the 1920s to the 1950s have even been adapted to play on the modern gadgets and gizmos we use today. In fact, like most other media formats, old time radio offers a wide selection for public consumption. Crowd favorites are the usual mystery, horror and suspense, thriller, drama and adventure genre. Of course, comedy was especially favored by the listeners of what has now become known as the golden age of radio.
The 1930's spawned many note-worthy programs that are still talked about to this day. However, one of the most famous sitcoms to grace the airwaves was none other than "Fibber McGee and Molly," which began airing on NBC Network April 16, 1935. When situational comedy is talked about, this infamous series immediately comes to mind and is said to be the spark that launched James "Jim" Jordan and Marian Driscoll to stardom.
The success of this syndicated serial was something like a slow burn. Unlike other hit old radio shows, the audience of Fibber McGee grew over the years. Perhaps what set the series apart from contemporaries of its time was the fact that it was a bright ray of sunlight in what was otherwise a bleak and dark moment in American history. The Depression blanketed the country with the after-effects of World War I and the lighthearted cheer that the McGee's of Wistful Vista exhibited as they went about their daily lives was a soothing balm to homes and households across America.
Jim and Marian relied heavily on their witty repartee to entertain their audience. It was not unusual that their listeners would end up doubled-over in laughter at the rib-tickling and guffaw-inducing antics delivered by the spunky cast. In the comedy genre, it's quite easy to fall into cliches and a repetitive routine. However, Fibber McGee successfully got away with such over-used plot devices through sheer bravado. In fact, one of the most notorious running gags they used was the "Hall Closet." Many an unsuspecting soul fell victim to the closet and was promptly buried under an avalanche of Fibber's things and no one was safe from the junk-filled monster. It became a standing joke in the McGee home and Fibber popularized the catch-phrase "I have to get that closet cleaned out one of these days." That ironic and self-derogatory remark delivered in an almost bored voice would leave the listeners in stitches.
Undoubtedly, the colorful characters living in Wistful Vista also helped drive the show's popularity. One of the most eccentric persons living in the village was a senior resident called "Old Timer." The gruff and cranky old man was portrayed by Bill Thompson. The comical situations he and Fibber would get into were made more absurd as he appeared to be arguing with someone who was deaf as a doorknob. Another character that he often interacted with was the haughty and self-styled aristocrat, Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve. He had a love-hate relationship with Fibber and their wordplay was akin to a verbal battle at times. Harold Peary portrayed the arrogant next-door neighbor so well that a spin-off program was created for the character. "The Great Gildersleeve" was another old time radio show that became popular during its time. Last but not least was the lovable and precocious little girl who followed Fibber around all the time. "Teeny" was also played by the charming Marian Driscoll. The former Vaudevillian actress had an amazing voice talent which was shown by the wide array of characters she played throughout the span of her career.
I'm a big fan of <a target="_new" href="http://www.otrcat.com/%22%3EOld Time Radio</A>.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Classic-Old-Time-Radio-Comedy:-Fibber-McGee-And-Molly&id=6516928] Classic Old Time Radio Comedy: Fibber McGee And Molly
Friday, December 23, 2011
Doomsday Warning Or Temporary Anomoly?
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=John_Morton]John Morton
Are all the nasty current events we are seeing and hearing about on the news just a temporary aberration or are we rapidly approaching a serious global problem? When I was young, I read about the hippies starting communes for assorted reasons not the least of which was reacting to the doomsayers warnings of global problems on the way related to the manner in which we treated the environment. The real fear, the one that had normally sane individuals digging holes in their back yards to house the bomb shelter needed to save the family from world war three. It all turned out to be needless worry. The holes in the back yard filled in, weeded over and eventually added to the inanities of the time.
Yet one nagging problem persisted. Constant warnings, warnings I can remember that were directed at water, were ignored. Since water is the most important factor in the formation and continuation of life itself I could not understand why the warnings were treated with such disinterest by those in position to do something positive. It was explained to me that soon the water in the creek behind our house that was drinkable, the fish that were eatable and water that was safe for swimming would be infested with harmful germs that would make us ill.
Now that I am in the realm of senior citizens, the creek no longer exists, all rivers, lakes and ponds for a thousand miles around scream pollution and the oceans are showing signs of the same problems. Water covers three quarters of the planet and a major portion of it is polluted or about to be polluted. One news source points to the problems of clearing rainforests but few listen because another source says we have too many trees anyway. One source says the ocean tides are being altered by underwater eruptions and we are losing an alarming number of animal and insect species as one after another becomes extinct. Another source says the underwater eruptions are normal as the planet stretches. We are expected to believe that just as many species of insects and animals are found each day as those we lose. What are we to believe?
We are told that global warming does not exist as a problem and if it did, it is a normal course of events that will correct itself over time. We're told there is no hole in the Ozone layer that won't repair itself as it has been doing up to now. We don't have to worry about the trees, we can replace forests with replanting programs and other methods.
I can remember hearing about three or four major storms a year. Now the numbers have climbed, the intensity has increased but officially, New Orleans was just natures' toss of the dice. Still, few official agencies will comment on the increased number of Tsunami's that have killed hundreds of thousands, caused undue damage including nearly sinking part of Sri Lanka while another battered Japan, turning their nuclear reactors into melt down mode, poisoning the land and sea for hundreds of miles around. Any one of the foregoing could qualify as a major catastrophe - we don't need that collision with an asteroid story to be true.
What about the political position of the world? The middle east is in a serious uproar, Britain is in riot stage, Norway is experiencing Terrorism and Syria is joining Egypt and Libya into a new form of government, currencies are being devalued and economies are tumbling. The world is in turmoil.
Having noted all the above, I could surmise that the Mayans may have just run out of time (the calendar really was finished.) Nostradamus is completely misinterpreted and all those other dire warnings are just the rumblings of dis-satisfied individuals seeking attention. Then again it might pay to clean up that hole in the back yard if still exists or maybe take a look at that self-sustaining, eatable forest idea and find our own generators - just in case. Can't hurt. Asteroid?
John Morton
John David Morton
[mailto:John@multigroupcentres.com]John@multigroupcentres.com http://www.multigroupcentres.com/ecofitnessvillage http://www.multigroupcentres.com/LSDlifestyledesign
Author: 6 screenplays, 3 non-fiction works, 1 Novel and numerous articles
Hypnotherapist/life coach.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Doomsday-Warning-Or-Temporary-Anomoly?&id=6509030] Doomsday Warning Or Temporary Anomoly?
Are all the nasty current events we are seeing and hearing about on the news just a temporary aberration or are we rapidly approaching a serious global problem? When I was young, I read about the hippies starting communes for assorted reasons not the least of which was reacting to the doomsayers warnings of global problems on the way related to the manner in which we treated the environment. The real fear, the one that had normally sane individuals digging holes in their back yards to house the bomb shelter needed to save the family from world war three. It all turned out to be needless worry. The holes in the back yard filled in, weeded over and eventually added to the inanities of the time.
Yet one nagging problem persisted. Constant warnings, warnings I can remember that were directed at water, were ignored. Since water is the most important factor in the formation and continuation of life itself I could not understand why the warnings were treated with such disinterest by those in position to do something positive. It was explained to me that soon the water in the creek behind our house that was drinkable, the fish that were eatable and water that was safe for swimming would be infested with harmful germs that would make us ill.
Now that I am in the realm of senior citizens, the creek no longer exists, all rivers, lakes and ponds for a thousand miles around scream pollution and the oceans are showing signs of the same problems. Water covers three quarters of the planet and a major portion of it is polluted or about to be polluted. One news source points to the problems of clearing rainforests but few listen because another source says we have too many trees anyway. One source says the ocean tides are being altered by underwater eruptions and we are losing an alarming number of animal and insect species as one after another becomes extinct. Another source says the underwater eruptions are normal as the planet stretches. We are expected to believe that just as many species of insects and animals are found each day as those we lose. What are we to believe?
We are told that global warming does not exist as a problem and if it did, it is a normal course of events that will correct itself over time. We're told there is no hole in the Ozone layer that won't repair itself as it has been doing up to now. We don't have to worry about the trees, we can replace forests with replanting programs and other methods.
I can remember hearing about three or four major storms a year. Now the numbers have climbed, the intensity has increased but officially, New Orleans was just natures' toss of the dice. Still, few official agencies will comment on the increased number of Tsunami's that have killed hundreds of thousands, caused undue damage including nearly sinking part of Sri Lanka while another battered Japan, turning their nuclear reactors into melt down mode, poisoning the land and sea for hundreds of miles around. Any one of the foregoing could qualify as a major catastrophe - we don't need that collision with an asteroid story to be true.
What about the political position of the world? The middle east is in a serious uproar, Britain is in riot stage, Norway is experiencing Terrorism and Syria is joining Egypt and Libya into a new form of government, currencies are being devalued and economies are tumbling. The world is in turmoil.
Having noted all the above, I could surmise that the Mayans may have just run out of time (the calendar really was finished.) Nostradamus is completely misinterpreted and all those other dire warnings are just the rumblings of dis-satisfied individuals seeking attention. Then again it might pay to clean up that hole in the back yard if still exists or maybe take a look at that self-sustaining, eatable forest idea and find our own generators - just in case. Can't hurt. Asteroid?
John Morton
John David Morton
[mailto:John@multigroupcentres.com]John@multigroupcentres.com http://www.multigroupcentres.com/ecofitnessvillage http://www.multigroupcentres.com/LSDlifestyledesign
Author: 6 screenplays, 3 non-fiction works, 1 Novel and numerous articles
Hypnotherapist/life coach.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Doomsday-Warning-Or-Temporary-Anomoly?&id=6509030] Doomsday Warning Or Temporary Anomoly?
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
What Makes a Good Comedy Routine
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Tim_Tayag]Tim Tayag
Humor is very subjective but there are also universal truths that every person can relate to, unless you don't have a sense of humor which most likely means you are not completely human. It is in these universal truths that a good comedy routine thrives on and is able to transcend culture, race, and even time. So what am I saying? A good comedy routine comes from a believable premise that people can understand or agree on, and usually - but not always - it's about pain.
For example, if you are going to do jokes about marriage, then you should find a premise that is believable like "marital sex is the most expensive kind of sex" or "women are weird but men are stupid". Also, you are more likely to get laughs if you are actually married and not pretending to be married. Audiences can somehow sense if the performer is genuine or not.
So, once you have a believable and insightful premise (hopefully better than my own examples), what's next? You create a scenario that exemplifies the statement you just made, or what Judy Carter calls an "act out". It is in this act out where the punch lines come in. You can either exaggerate, compare, or show the absurdity of the premise to create laughter.
In the the premise example I gave, I can create a funny act out:
Women have weird habits, like they will ask you to wear matching outfits so you and her will look like this cheesy couple madly in love walking around for the whole world to see. "Baby, why don't we wear those Mickey Mouse shirts we bought in Disneyland and go out tonight to a comedy club?" Men, we're just stupid because we agree. "That's a great idea!"
Okay, maybe it needs more work but you can see what I mean by acting out the premise to get the funny out of it.
You can apply the same principle to sketch comedy or other forms. The main key is to get the audience to agree with you on the statement you are making. You know you've hit it on the head when your audience says, "That's so true!" And other comedians are thinking, "Damn! How come I didn't think of that?"
Talking about something relatable is just one of the ingredients of a good comedy routine. There are other factors such as timing, stage presence, likability, and so on. The best way to come up with a funny routine is to actually just keep doing it and polishing your skills. There is no substitute for stage experience.
Tim Tayag is a pioneer of point of view stand up comedy in the Philippines and Asia. He started his comedy career in San Francisco back in 1997 and has toured and performed all over the world. You can learn more about him by visiting his site http://www.timtayag.com/ or purchase his comedy CD [http://www.timtayag.com/nutritiousstandup/]http://www.timtayag.com/nutritiousstandup/.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?What-Makes-a-Good-Comedy-Routine&id=6273181] What Makes a Good Comedy Routine
Humor is very subjective but there are also universal truths that every person can relate to, unless you don't have a sense of humor which most likely means you are not completely human. It is in these universal truths that a good comedy routine thrives on and is able to transcend culture, race, and even time. So what am I saying? A good comedy routine comes from a believable premise that people can understand or agree on, and usually - but not always - it's about pain.
For example, if you are going to do jokes about marriage, then you should find a premise that is believable like "marital sex is the most expensive kind of sex" or "women are weird but men are stupid". Also, you are more likely to get laughs if you are actually married and not pretending to be married. Audiences can somehow sense if the performer is genuine or not.
So, once you have a believable and insightful premise (hopefully better than my own examples), what's next? You create a scenario that exemplifies the statement you just made, or what Judy Carter calls an "act out". It is in this act out where the punch lines come in. You can either exaggerate, compare, or show the absurdity of the premise to create laughter.
In the the premise example I gave, I can create a funny act out:
Women have weird habits, like they will ask you to wear matching outfits so you and her will look like this cheesy couple madly in love walking around for the whole world to see. "Baby, why don't we wear those Mickey Mouse shirts we bought in Disneyland and go out tonight to a comedy club?" Men, we're just stupid because we agree. "That's a great idea!"
Okay, maybe it needs more work but you can see what I mean by acting out the premise to get the funny out of it.
You can apply the same principle to sketch comedy or other forms. The main key is to get the audience to agree with you on the statement you are making. You know you've hit it on the head when your audience says, "That's so true!" And other comedians are thinking, "Damn! How come I didn't think of that?"
Talking about something relatable is just one of the ingredients of a good comedy routine. There are other factors such as timing, stage presence, likability, and so on. The best way to come up with a funny routine is to actually just keep doing it and polishing your skills. There is no substitute for stage experience.
Tim Tayag is a pioneer of point of view stand up comedy in the Philippines and Asia. He started his comedy career in San Francisco back in 1997 and has toured and performed all over the world. You can learn more about him by visiting his site http://www.timtayag.com/ or purchase his comedy CD [http://www.timtayag.com/nutritiousstandup/]http://www.timtayag.com/nutritiousstandup/.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?What-Makes-a-Good-Comedy-Routine&id=6273181] What Makes a Good Comedy Routine
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